This New “Petty” Way of Life is Going to Leave You Single
Written by Kacey Alana
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, I am certain you’ve noticed the word “petty” has become an internet sensation. Its popularity is as ubiquitous as #UNAMEIT or The Mannequin Challenge, but at an Oprah level. Those previous fads will fade, but petty has become a way of life. And for many, it always has been. We’ve just named it, slapped an “innanets” patent on it, and gave it street cred. (Sidebar: do people still say street cred?) You may have heard phrases such as Petty Wop, Petty Pendergrass, and Petty LaBelle to name a few.
Look, I am the queen of cynicism so take this with a grain of salt. Most of us have incredibly petty moments in life and that’s normal, and even funny at times quite frankly. However, to determine you will live by this creed because “you’re just not here for anything”, prepare to be single or with someone who is comfortable with all that negativity. And don’t get it twisted, being petty on a regular is negative as fuck (Imagine I said that in my Issa Rae voice).
I know people who find enjoyment in seeing people’s downfall, love instigating, gossiping, and turning any trivial relationship issue into an actual thing. If you’re extra petty, you probably don’t see anything wrong with the last sentence. I knew a guy who called his ex-girlfriend’s new man’s ex-girlfriend (yeah, make that make sense) to tell her how long this new relationship had been going on, and that there was probably some overlap. Bruuuuh. You’re petty as hell! And should be ashamed of yourself. That’s some basic ass (petty) shit to do.
One thing I have learned from life is that words have meaning. Regardless of how we trivialize it, what comes out of our mouths can create life or bring death. I am almost certain that many of the great people that have come before us never routinely referred to themselves as “savages” or “bad bitches”. I can’t imagine that closed door meeting between the great minds of Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X was laden with derogative associations and slanderous conversation.
The point is, don’t let this petty lifestyle swallow you whole. It isn’t worth it. Compliment your woman without fear that you’ll “blow her head up” because she’s obviously attractive. Give your man a break when he tries to do something nice but it falls incredibly flat. This is extra “flower child” of me to say, but let’s love each other more. And save that pettiness for when that asshole who cut you off trying to beat traffic gets stuck in the slow lane and wants you to let him back in. Yeah, fuck that guy.